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The apostle Paul is still addressing the same problems that the Corinthians had with sex and marriage being “unspiritual”, and believing perhaps that they should leave their marriages in order to be spiritual. But Paul embraces marriage and lifts it up the same way as Jesus. Paul shows that this is teaching from Jesus (v.10 – ‘not I, but the Lord’).

The Greek/Roman culture had a very low view of commitment and a very liberal view of divorce. However, the Christian view on these matters is clear – ‘the wife should not separate from her husband. . .and the husband should not divorce his wife’ (v.10).

To understand marriage and divorce we need to go back to Jesus’ teaching on it in Matthew 19:3-9. Jesus quote from the beginning of Genesis – going right back to when God created man and woman and there was the first marriage.

One Flesh
• A couple become one when they are married – that is what they are.
• It is a sacred, miraculous thing that reflects the mystery of the Trinity (one God in three Persons).
• It is so profound and therefore should never be taken lightly.

Covenant Love
• Our culture teaches that love and marriage is built purely on romantic love, but this does not make a marriage work. Romantic love is indeed a gift from God and should definitely be a part of a marriage, but it is not the foundation on which to build a marriage. We need to get our idea of love from the Bible.
• Covenant love – choosing to love someone, choosing to commit yourself to them – is what makes a marriage work. Reflected in wedding vows – “Will you love” not “Do you love”.
• The phrase ‘hold fast’ in this passage is key (v.5).
• God loves us with covenant love – we look to reflect that love in our marriages.
• Jeremiah 3 – God experiences divorce and betrayal personally, and that is why He hates it. The rules that allowed divorce were made because of sin and the hardness of the human heart – but it was never God’s intentions. He wants covenant love on display.

Recognising Reality

God understands human sinfulness and has compassion for victims, and so there are cases where divorce may be acceptable:
• v.9 – sexual immorality is grounds for divorce. The Greek word means more than just adultery. The bond of covenant love has been broken, and the victim is spiritually “widowed” so free from that bond.
• Desertion and abuse can be grounds.
• These things are never black and white though and must be dealt with on a case-by-case basis by the elders of the church. Reconciliation should always be explored because it is God’s intentions to restore.
• If divorce was legitimate there are also grounds for remarriage – again not a black and white issue, and needs to be brought to the elders.
• Incompatibility? This is a myth. A marriage is made up of 2 sinners! There is always going to be incompatibility, and there will also be seasons of hardship.
• Married the “wrong person”? v.20 – remain in the condition you are in.

We need to work at our marriages:
• Jesus came to give us a new heart so we can do things like commitment and covenant love.
• Commit to physical love – safeguard your marriage from temptation.
• Make your marriage holy – make it the thing you refuse to give up on.
• Model Jesus & the gospel – beautify your spouse.

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The apostle Paul wrote this letter to the church in Corinth, addressing (amongst other things) the issue that sex and marriage is somehow “unspiritual”, Paul rebukes the idea. This is relevant to us today because this thinking is still prevalent in modern Christianity – that somehow marriage, sex and physical pleasure is “wrong” and unspiritual and shouldn’t be enjoyed. However, everything created by God is good (Genesis 1) and is to be enjoyed as long as we enjoy it as a gift from God rather than as a god itself. Also, Paul teaches that to forbid marriage is demonic teaching (1 Tim. 4).

Paul does have a place for singleness though. He agrees to an extent with the Corinthians that singleness is good, but for completely different reasons.

For those who are married – it is important that they hear this message because they are part of the Body of Christ, and need to know what the Bible teaches about singleness.

Paul’s message to all is this: let each person lead the life he is in, the life God has called him to. We don’t necessarily need to change our situation in order to live for God, or alter our conditions in order to be more spiritual – we can be pleasing to God, glorifying and worshipping Him in our current circumstances (marital state, job, etc). Think about the example of Joseph – He served and glorified God when he was a slave, a prisoner, etc.

Why honour singleness?

1. Practical reasons (it’s a gift)
• v.7 – it is a gift from God, a blessing – as is marriage.
• The context of Paul’s letter – ‘in view of the present distress’ (v.26) – it made singleness a wise option.
• Singleness is not a command from Paul, but a suggestion motivated by genuine compassion (v.25, v.40).
• It does not mean that you will never be tempted, or that you will love every moment, or that you won’t struggle with loneliness – but God does give grace for every season, and He always knows what He is doing with our lives.
• Singleness is a precious season where it gets to be just you and God – He cherishes that time He has with you.
• It is not permanent.
• It is a gift to be used for the Church. You are to use your gift (whether singleness or marriage) as a way of blessing the Body.

2. Spiritual/eternal reasons:
• In the Old Testament, the emphasis was on marriage and child-bearing to maintain a legacy and be fruitful. Jesus changed all that – we now leave an eternal/spiritual legacy.
• Isaiah 53 – Jesus is fruitful and has spiritual offspring, despite being single.
• The spiritual family we are a part of is greater than any physical family.
• Isaiah 56 – we have a name better than sons or daughters.
• In Jesus Christ we possess all things.

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A series of articles written by Joel Virgo are currently being featured on The Resurgence Blog, a resource based in America and run in partnership with Mars Hill Church Seattle and the Acts 29 network. With over 20,000 subscribed followers, the blog is a significant resource and speaks into the lives of many. For the Resurgence Blog Joel has written a series of articles on prayer entitled; “You actually have to pray’”, which looks to the book of Nehemiah for lessons in how to pray fervently and effectively. Please take a look at this helpful resource and be encouraged to share it with others.

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Parts of this passage are potentially confusing; ‘It’s good for a man not to have sexual relations with a women’. This seems to contradict Genesis 2 and other scriptures. However, Paul (the writer of this letter) is quoting their (the Corinthians) opinion back to them, this is obviously something they would have said. The bible teaches that sex is good and encourages it wholeheartedly within marriage.

But as well as promoting marriage Paul believes that there is a wonderful role for singleness and is
keen to honour it. Singleness is a unique calling and can bring a liberty to follow God. The bible elevates a certain kind of singleness; for some kind of callings of God singleness can be appropriate.

The church needs to look after and dignify singles and families should be hospitable to them and serve them.

In our culture marriage has a very bad reputation and this has led to people embracing singleness or avoiding marriage for the wrong reasons, even within the church.

People in the church are nervous about marriage and can stay single for some of the following wrong reasons;

• Concerned that they are loving their prospective partner more than God. They feel they’ve developed a unhealthy devotion which deflects from their relationship with God. Don’t be hooked into false spirituality, If that isn’t a tension we are balancing in courtship perhaps we should question the relationship?
• The ‘Who is the one mentality’ is also to be avoided. God restored you to sonship not to be a robot. We’ve been given ability to make decisions and choose our own partners.
• Guys can be picky, they can have a picture of beauty that isn’t biblical. Obviously you need to be attracted to your bride but physical beauty is quite secondary.
• For some women misinterpretations of what a spiritual man is can hold people back. Don’t look for the ‘platform gift’ or christian eloquence, look at the heart.
• Fear can hold people back but we can be set free by knowing God. If we are fearful we are then not really enjoying God. If we are exposed to the love of God it will overwhelm fear.

We can make marriages our God and try and make them perfect, this is not possible. There has only ever been one perfect husband.

Story of the bible is one of a husband and a bride.God pursues us as a husband to a bride  He is perfectly faithful to us and utterly beautiful. To see proof of this look at the cross of Jesus Christ where the greatest husband in history died for his wife, the people of God. He is faithful enough to be tortured and murdered for us.

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The first experience of sex in the garden of Eden (Genesis 2) was without shame, there were no hang ups. But Adam and Eve fell away from God into rebellion and immediately were ashamed. One of the many results of our rebellion is a sense of shame and embarrassment associated with nakedness and sexuality. We now no longer use sex to worship God but now we can worship sex itself.

God’s model for us is to enjoy sex within a covenant relationship, a lifelong marriage commitment made before God of the body and soul to one another.

In sex we are looking for pleasure
We are designed to look for and find our pleasure in God. God intends pleasure for us and ultimately only He can give it to us. We look for it elsewhere but it can only give limited returns.

Sex is a magnificent gift from God but in itself it makes a terrible God.

In sex we are looking for love and security
We crave physical intimacy because we are looking for love, support, security, protection etc. Again God intended that this need was ultimately fulfilled in Him and Him alone.

A lifestyle pattern can develop of desiring physical intimacy and this, or the person who gives it, can become our saviour.  This can lead to a blinding dependence on people which can lead to abuse.

Defilement and the answer
The reason we are left feeling defiled is really the same reason we feel guilt. We feel guilt because of guilt. We feel defiled because we are defiled.

In the end something has to objectively be done to set us free and the fullest true answer is what Jesus alone can do. Through real repentance, which is rediscovering the person we should have been worshipping in the first place, we can be free. The route to freedom is finding our joy in Jesus.

Through the cross we can receive forgiveness and also cleansing from our sin. Part of the work of the cross is the removal of shame from us. It’s taken away. In our place Jesus has became the scapegoat, he became shame for us.

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Sexual freedom is supposed to bring liberty but instead it enslaves and controls people. We think that somehow our physical bodies are disconnected from the spiritual. We think that what we do with our bodies doesn’t affect us but it does. Jesus was a physical man after the resurrection and is now still a physical man.

The sexual act creates a union, we become one flesh. It is created to take place in a marriage relationship. Marriage itself is a foretaste of something greater, it points to our union with Christ, we are his bride. Also, sex points to something better, something greater. God created sex to point to the joy we’ll experience in eternity with him. Knowing God is profound union, sex is a picture of that.

Our application
We should flee from sexual immorality and deal ruthlessly with temptation

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Healthy Discipline

The purity of the church needs to be maintained. It must, therefore, be characterised by an atmosphere of ongoing submission to the will of God. Sin, once clearly identified in the community and in individuals, must be acknowledged and brought to repentance. When it is simply tolerated and perpetrators are allowed to carry on as if nothing mattered the purity of God’s people is compromised and threatened.
 
The more it is unquestioned the more dangerous this is – both for the church (which is affected by the bad yeast – v.6) and for the individuals themselves (who need the redemptive effect of discipline. It is meant to act as a safeguard – provoking people to a reality check and a sense of the serious condition. The goal is not to punish people but bring them to their senses and, thereby, draw them back into fellowship based upon true repentance).
 
We can be tempted to simply let things carry on unchecked and even congratulate ourselves on our ‘tolerance’ but in reality we are bringing danger on the people of God. The reality is that all of us practice some kind of ‘intolerance’ in certain contexts.
 
Discipline means that those who are not living a repentant life are not treated as if they are. This is NOT the way to treat non-believers. It is not our business to discipline non-Christians who know no better. We are not to be taken out of the world – not at all! So we must maintain our friendships with the lost and retain a totally non-judgemental attitude to them. But those who make out that they are believers but live an unrepentant lifestyle should know our position very clearly and not feel comfortable around us.
 
This is in line with the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 18. The goal is redemptive and it’s supposed to work.

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His Righteousness
Through his sacrificial death on the cross he provided righteousness that does not belong to us. We are now declared righteous and the perfect life that Jesus lived is now exchanged for our sinful one.

Communion with Him
We have not been made righteous to feel better about ourselves. It’s for communion with God, it’s so we can know God and have fellowship with Him. We have been rescued for communion.

Victory Over Darkness
Colossians 2: 15 Rulers and authorities have been disarmed (this is talking about satanic power). Although we can be led to believe that satan doesn’t exist and he’s just a comic book character, he does. His greatest trick is to convince us he does not.

At the cross Jesus destroyed Satans kingdom. Jesus has won the decisive battle over all darkness.

Healing
By his wounds we are healed. At the cross we find healing.

Grace for suffering
God gives us grace in the midst of our suffering. With Christ we will still suffer, we are not removed from the world, but God gives us grace to be able to endure and even be blessed in our suffering.

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In 2 Kings 7, Elisha promised that circumstances in the besieged city would be transformed by the next day. What seemed impossible became possible when four lepers who were already exiled outside the city realised that they had nothing to lose. They were already as good as dead. Why not throw yourself on the enemy’s mercy? Why not risk everything?

Having reached the enemy camp they were amazed to discover that the enemy had gone. Defeat was turned to victory. Not only was the enemy rendered ineffective, spoil was there for the taking. Silver, gold, food, clothing – they marvelled at it, ate it, drank it, tried on the clothes, gathered it, hid it and entered another tent to do it all over again! They had a total blast and it was all free and theirs for the taking.

Spoil is a strange word to the 21st century urbanite. Isaiah 9 promises that the coming kingdom of the new born baby will be like light breaking into the darkness. It will make men rejoice as they do when gathering a harvest or when they divide the spoil (Isaiah 9:2-3).

What on earth is ‘spoil’?
Modern city-dwellers don’t know much about ‘harvest’ and are not very familiar with ‘spoil’. ‘Spoil’ was what you gathered when you defeated an enemy army. Jehoshaphat’s army took three days to gather theirs (2 Chronicles 20:25). In Isaiah 53:12 we are told that God’s triumphant Servant will share the spoils of his victory with his people. Ephesians 4 tells us that he led captivity captive and gave gifts to men.

He’s a powerful conqueror and he freely shares the spoils of his victory so that Peter, who so recently swore and cursed and said that he never knew Jesus, was invited to take the spoils of Christ victory. This hopeless failure got to preach on the Day of Pentecost! A few days later he announced to the cripple at the Beautiful Gate of the Temple, ‘Such as I have, I give to you. Get up and walk!’

‘Such as I have.’ Where did you get that Peter? ‘Oh, that was one of the spoils of Jesus’ victory that I took.’ Jesus won a great victory. The spoils are breathtaking and you don’t have to be very special to pick them up. Anyone can come, like the lepers did, and put on fresh clothing, pick up phenomenal spoils and go in the strength of that victory.

We enjoyed looking at this story on Sunday at CCK. Maybe you would like to download and listen to it and enter into something of the freedom of God’s grace and the wonders of His free gifts to His people celebrating the defeat of your enemy.

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Throughout the autumn at CCK we’ve been showing videos each week of various CCK members sharing stories of how the gospel has changed their lives.

These videos have served as excellent demonstrations of the tangible evidence that Jesus changes our lives, heals our broken situations, lifts us out of our addictions, carries us through times of difficulty or illness and offers us complete transformation. There are so many examples of God’s faithfulness and care in the stories shown in these videos, and they point out that the gospel is impacting people from all walks of life; whether you are an ex-rapping drug dealer or a woman provoked by the miracle of  her newborn child.

They are excellent tools for evangelism and would make great viewing for those who would find these testimonies helpful or provocative. These videos are like seeds that can be very easily sown. That’s why we have put them all together in one place! It’s really simple to forward this page on and share these stories to those who may need to hear them.

Here they are on the CCK website; CCK STORIES

And here they are on CCK’s YouTube channel; CCK STORIES

Exclusive; here’s a video unique to the web; CCK elder Matt Davis tells his story; MATT’S STORY

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